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Figuratively speaking ;)

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How much do you know about the United Kingdom?

Britain is the birthplace of Newton, Darwin, Shakespeare and the Beatles; home of the world’s largest foreign exchange market, the world’s richest football club – Manchester United, the inventor of the hovercraft and JK Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter books. From Scotland to Cornwall, Britain is full of customs and traditions. A lot of them have very long histories. Some are funny and some are strange. But they’re all interesting and are all part of the British way of life.

Would you like to have a chance to discover many of British customs and traditions, information on lifestyle, history, politics and geography?

UK Quiz:  http://resources.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk

Britain Quiz:  http://elt.oup.com/student/britain

UK quiz:  http://www.english-4u.de/uk1.htm

EuroEnglish

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phase in plan that would be known as “EuroEnglish”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly,this will make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent “e”s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away. By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords containing “ou” and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a realy sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand each ozer.

ZE DREAM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!

What Do You Know About Great Britain? (part3)

General knowledge quiz
choose A,B,C or D
The quiz is open till 5 PM on Fri 17th May

1 The typical Thanksgiving menu consists of __________.
A) turkey with bread stuffing and mashed potatoes C) smoked salmon and sauce
B) fried carp and potato salad D) fried chicken and rice
2 The United Kingdom is a/an __________ .
A) federation C) constitutional monarchy
B) absolute monarchy D) republic
3 Northern Ireland is also called __________ .
A) North Ireland C) Albion
B) West Britain D) Ulster
4 Hadrian’s Wall was built __________ .
A) in Ireland to mark the northern boundary of his Empire C) from the North to the South
B) to separate the Romans from the warlike peoples of Scotland D) around 130 AD but today there are no more any remains of it
5  __________ is the author of the Old Man and the Sea, published in 1952.
A) John Steinbeck C) Ernest Hemingway
B) Jane Austin D) Agatha Christie
6 Which of these countries was the first one in the world to issue adhesive postage stamps?
A) Canada C) the USA
B) Great Britain D) Ireland
7  __________ is printed on British stamps.
A) The price and the portrait of the current monarch C) The name of the monarch, his/her portrait and the year
B) The portrait of Elisabeth II and the price D) The UK flag and the price
8  __________ is the idiom used in order to say that somebody is very good or special.
A) The “dog’s ears” C) The “cat’s whiskers”
B) The “fat cat” D) The “clever fox”
9  __________ are parts of Great Britain.
A) England and Wales C) England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland
B) England, Wales and Northern Ireland D) England, Wales and Scotland
10 The highest mountain in Britain is __________ .
A) Snowdon C) Big Ben
B) Mount McKinley D) Ben Nevis
11 The Statue of Liberty in New York was a gift to the people of the USA from the people of __________ .
A) Ireland C) Spain
B) France D) England
12 True or false? Choose the correct answer.
A) The Pilgrims arrived in the New World in 1620. C) The Pilgrims’ ship was called Flowership.
B) The Pilgrims’ ship was called Mayship. D) The Pilgrim Fathers arrived in Australia in 1720.
13 __________ was the first President of the USA.
A) F.D.Roosevelt C) Abraham Lincoln
B) George Washington D) Thomas Jefferson
14 What do the English call the channel between Great Britain and European countries?
A) La Manche C) The Great Strait
B) The English Channel D) The Southern Sea
15 __________ is the traditional English fast food.
A) French fries C) Fish and chips
B) A cheeseburger D) A hot dog
16 ‘Vauxhall’ is the English name for which make of car:
A) Chevrolet C) Audi
B) Opel D) Ford
17 According to a legend, which birds have to stay at The Tower of London, otherwise the English Monarchy will fall:
A) Pigeons C) Ravens
B) Robins D) Sparrows
18 ‘Oyster Card’ lets you to:
A) have a discount in London restaurants and pubs C) use London lavatories with a discount
B) visit London museums and art galleries with a discount D) travel around London on public transport with a discount
19 The prime meridian (0° longitude) goes through:
A) Greenwich C) Edinburgh
B) Stonehenge D) Stratford-Upon-Avon
20 What monument can visitors see in Trafalgar Square in London?
A) the statue of Eros C) The Queen Victoria Memorial
B) Nelson’s Column D) St. John’s Gate

 

English Quiz

Just for fun – try to answer 10 easy questions in The English Quiz prepared for gimnazjum students:
quiz

What’s in the name 6?

Jesus saves ;)

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer.

They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the arguments. Finally God said, “Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job.”

So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mails. They sent out e-mails with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job.

But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming “It’s gone! It’s all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!”

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irritated.

“Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?”, said Satan.
God shrugged and said, “Jesus saves”.

[origin: The Internet]

GRAFFITI

Underneath the famous ecological slogan “SAVE TREES” someone added “Eat beaver”. In the library of an American university, the librarian left a notice saying “Back in a minute”. Someone then scribbled the signature “Godot”. Graffiti, the art of writing on the walls, is believed to be as old as the human race. It is a way of commenting on current social and political events, and of mocking advertising slogans. It can also be a way of expressing oneself for people who have no chance or no courage to express their views in public. Graffiti writers use all sorts of walls available but probably the most popular are public lavatory walls, maybe because of the privacy they guarantee. Most graffiti are witty and humorous and provide excellent free entertainment.

How do you like these?

YOU’RE NEVER ALONE WITH SCHIZOPHRENIA.

KEEP BRITAIN TIDY – Kill a tourist  (added to the environment protection slogan).

JESUS SAVES – “Today he is the only one who can afford to”  (comment on popular religious advertisement).

J0in the ARMY – “meet interesting people and  kill them” (someone replied).

“God is dead – Nietzsche”, (someone wrote).   “Nietzsche is dead – God”, (another graffiti writer added).

However, graffiti can also be a form of vandalism. Some graffiti writers vandalise walls of buildings with obscenities and various kinds of abuse. Compared to many of these, the following slogan does not seem obscene at all: “Eat beans, America needs gas”. In most countries graffiti is regarded as a criminal offence. In Britain, if you are caught painting walls, you can be punished with a fine, or even sent to prison for up to ten years.

The authorities can also order you to remove every trace of your activity. Local authorities organise graffiti removing squads, and the London Underground spends about two million pounds every year on cleaning trains and station walls. This, however, does not discourage numerous graffiti writers who cover the walls of the whole world with thousands of new pictures and comments every year.  [taken from “Tests in English”]

Do you know any funny and wise graffiti slogans?

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